Anger, Romans 12 & Me

I love a good argument. If it's something worth fighting for, then count me in. I've think I have gotten pretty good at judging whether or not it's really worth it, except for in the parenting area. I have found myself 'having to always be right' just because I am the parent.

In July we will be the parents of four teenagers. May God have mercy on us. They are completely different. We cannot parent one like we parent the others & I have finally realized that sometimes, it's just not worth it. Does it really matter or am I just fighting this fight, just to win or is it something that truly is worth fighting for?

Which brings me to Romans 12...... I am in a women's Sunday school class at church. (Grace Point Community- Hwy. 14) We are using the book 'The Frazzled Female' by Cindi Wood. When I heard this title, it described me to a tee. I AM a frazzled female, in every way. We started getting into the book & I really have learned to just 'let go' of some things. One of the lessons in the study book said to read Romans 12. Well, I started reading Romans 12 & amazing things started to happen with me. I got calmer with the way I speak, I started applying verse 18 to my life & it's just amazing how much happier with life in general that I am now. I walk away from situations Romans 12:18 says:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

That was 3 weeks ago & I am still reading Romans 12 every day & it has worked! I don't argue just to be right. Of course, the kids think I'm nuts, because when they start to fight I'll just say, "Romans 12!!!" They say, 'What?!?!?' When they try to get to me, I say, "Romans 12!!!"

If you are struggling with anger, I encourage you to read Romans 12 everyday. It will change your relationships with everyone that you come in contact with.

Symbols

Symbolism is a powerful thing. It represents things to us that trigger emotions, both good and bad. For example, you can hear a certain song & all the old, hurtful feelings from a past relationship come bubbling to the surface. You can see a certain place & it bring back wonderful childhood memories, because you used to go there when you were little, when times were simpler, happier. A wedding ring symbolizes marriage. If you take it off, you are still married & are still bound by those vows. The cross represents both good & bad symbols. Good being that I don't have to live in hell. Bad being the fact that a man with the ability to feel pain died on that cross for me & you, when He didn't have to, He CHOSE to. In fact, He asked His Father if it could be another way, then please let's do it that way, but whatever Your will, I'll do it. How many 'men' do you know that would do that for you? I have to hope that Russell would die for me, but would he die for a complete stranger? The answer is no. God allowed His only son to leave the comforts of Heaven & become a man & suffer for us. There is only one word to describe it...LOVE. He loves us so much that He wants us to come to Heaven to live with Him, just as the thief on the cross did. Which brings me to another symbol.... baptism. It doesn't make you go to Heaven or hell, it's just a symbol. A very important one, but not a requirement. Some people have tried to convince me that you have to be baptized to go the Heaven. My argument against this is the thief on the cross. He went to Heaven, but was never baptized. The moment Jesus said, 'TODAY YOU WILL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE(Luke 23:43) his price was paid. He trusted in the Son of God & lives in Heaven today, just as you & I both can, if we trust Jesus as our Savior. Simply believing in Him doesn't cut it. Even Satan believes in Him, he lived with Him, he knows He exists. Do you simply 'believe' that God & Jesus just exists? You have to have a personal relationship with Him & strive to better yourself everyday, according to His will. Do I do this ALL of the time? No. Do I fail Him daily? Yes. You are not guaranteed tomorrow, heck, you are not guaranteed the next second. Accept Him today.

Friends

Friends are important in anyone's life. I have been blessed beyond measures with great, wonderful friends. Some have been around forever. Some were here then left & now thanks to facebook, have returned. Some where in my life, then left, because what I apparently thought was a friend was not. According to the dictionary the definition of friend is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

I had a friend in elementary & jr. high school that was like a sister. Her mom & my mom were best friends. They talked everyday, therefore, we became best friends. We did everything together. If I wasn't at her house, she was at mine or we were at someone else's, but still together. We went to my grandparent's house together on several occasions & I went with her on errands & even once to her father's work. I lived with them when my mother became sick & my dad had to take care of her & get her to & from doctor's appointments & the hospital. Though it was a different time in my life, it was a wonderful experience to 'live' with my best friend. Who gets to move in with their best friend when you are fourteen/fifteen? These people took me in like I was another daughter. They treated me just like I was theirs & had always been there. My best friend's mother tucked me in at night, took me shopping, made sure I had everything I needed to function for school, church, cheer, etc. She was my second mother. We lost touch over the years. I took the popular road in the late teenage years & her, well, she took the road less traveled. She did the right thing. We lost touch, but just in the past year have found each other again & I have to say, it's like she never left. When we first connected there were long phone conversations, there were lots of emails with questions & explanations on how we have ended up where we are today. She knows that bad & the good in me & she still loves me. That's a true friend, not just a passing one. I think we are all caught up now, but I am looking forward to the day when I can actually see her again. Everytime we have something planned, life throws a curve & it gets put off. One day we will get there. Friendship is something to be cherished, so if you have that friend that knows all about you & still loves you, cherish her/him. They are rare.

Therapeutic Autobiography

It's taken some deep thought & a little time to come up with this one. I have thought about this for days & was trying to figure out just 'how' to word it.

I was born in the end of October of 1966. It was a great day, because I was here!

I attended Highland Gardens Elementary School, Capitol Heights Jr. High School, & Robert E. Lee High School, all located in Montgomery, Alabama. I have fond memories of all three schools. I was your typical kid. I was heavily involved in church with GA's (anyone remember Girls in Action?). I went to GA camp every summer for years. My parents always sent my brother to RA (Royal Ambassadors) camp at the same time. I didn't understand why, but now that I have children, I do! :-)

I was also involved in softball! I absolutely loved it. I played for years. We lived at the ball park. My brother played baseball & my parents coached & ran the concession stand. Those were the days! Life was a lot simpler.

My mom died when I was in ninth grade. That was a turning point, I believe. I changed. I had some wild teenage years. I made some really bad decisions. I just pray that my kids don't do what I did.

I married a neighborhood boy that I had dated forever when I was 19. He had joined the Army and was gone quite a bit. I got involved with some 'lonely' wives & things went down hill from there. Our son was five at the time. I was stupid, selfish & had no clue what damage I was inflicting on those around me. Because of some very bad decisions on my part, I divorced him & immediately begin seeing someone else. That relationship didn't work out, then I met my second husband. At first he was wonderful & caring and had a secret past. Not known to me, he was a recovering and now practicing drug addict. After about two years, maybe three, and two sons later, the marriage was a train wreck. Because of some circumstances, I had to leave this one in secrecy. He had no clue for 2 or 3 days. I drove from Michigan to Alabama, with a 3 kids, a dog, & a hamster. I found a job, rented a house & life was starting over for me & the kids.

Then, like a knight in shining armor, in walks Russell. (I swear I heard theme music in the background) He brought two beautiful girls in my life, which now call me mom & he inherited boys that he taught how to play baseball. We became fast friends, then best friends. I couldn't go a day without talking to him. That still continues today, almost 10 years later. We added to our already made multitude with another son.

I have found my way back on my feet and today I am a proud, Christian, wife & mother. I am not perfect and I have never claimed to be. I went from being the one that inflicts pain to being the one that suffered. That is a lesson I still carry with me today.

So, there you have it, in a nutshell, how I got to where I am today. It was not always a pretty picture, but I feel like I have made it. I have learned lessons that what I call 'bought' lessons. They are the ones that have the most impact & cost you the most, but they are the ones that change you for the better.

There is only one reason I am where I am today & that is my foundation in God. I accredit that to my upbringing. I tell you, anyone can climb out of the hole that you are in, whether it be a hole you dug yourself or someone has put you there. God is in the rescuing business. I am living proof of that.